Top 5 Obstacle Courses From Hell

You’re cold, wet and you're in pitch darkness crawling through a dank tunnel filled with stale and musty water with no end in sight. Then, almost out of no-where a strange and soiled hand reaches down and plucks you from the obscurity that your body and mind had been succumbed to. You get up, embracing the body to which that hand belonged and thank them on their way.  You turn your almost lifeless body around to help the next exhausted soul out of the darkness. They embrace you, smiles on both your faces. Then the realisation kicks in, only one obstacle down.

Many people are simply too afraid of the situations that plunge their bodies to the limits of its capabilities. Too scared to attempt anything that puts their bodies under strain. For those people, I say stay indoors. Feed the cat and return to your television because these obstacle courses are not for the feint hearted.

These courses will test and push you to breaking point. Knee’s will shake and legs tremble. Your ragged bodies will be scratched and torn. Your mind will abandon you. The achievement is on an un-human scale. Drink that beer, you earned it.

Still think your tough? Feel no pain? Want to push your body to the extreme? Well, here are the 5 toughest and most brutal obstacle courses on the British Isles:

5) Pain and Suffering

A relatively new course on the crazy person’s ‘to die on’ list however, it definitely does not mean that it is any less extreme than its older counterparts. Nestled in the Leicester countryside, the grounds of Rockingham castle set the scene for some truly horrible and down right ridiculous obstacles.

Before the start, soak up the scenic views and enchanting atmosphere that the castle creates because once you start you're going to wish that it never began. Like the great knights that once roamed these lands you're going to be...well, feeling more like the  peasantry with chronic arthritis.     

Once more, whilst you are dragging, lifting and carrying various objects along your muscle busting 10 mile route you will glance over at the castle and wish for that guided tour that you thought was so boring at the start. But hey! You can still go for it at the end, if you survive.

Expect to traverse steep hills, wade through ponds, scramble over logs and scale tall nets. Oh and expect to feel a lot of 'Pain and Suffering'.

    

4) Commando Challenge

Ahh, Devon. Known for its lovely beaches and beautiful countryside, oh and the rather more punishing Royal Marine Commando Centre, Lympstone.

So, ever wondered what it was like to be a Royal Marine Commando? Thought their training sounded do-able? Well, this 17km trail run will make you think otherwise. Only a snapshot into Marine training this challenge will turn the less patriotic into Winston Churchill. It will bring you to your knees and you will beg for a continued civilian life. Never again will you doubt the armed forces and their god like physical robustness.

Three ‘phases’ of the race will challenge every aspect of your mental and physical ability to overcome the most demanding and truly terrifying obstacles. One such being the dreaded ‘Sheep Dip’. If you haven’t seen the Royal Marines advert where the lad gets trapped in the underwater tunnel then…don’t watch it.

A combination of mucky runs, dingy tunnels and leg breaking hills await your peril. This course will definitely make you think twice about playing the soldier for the day. Leave that in your childhood. This is course is for no child. 99.9% need not apply.

3) Tough Guy Challenge

So it’s January. Britain is most definitely embroiled in a concoction of wind, rain and bitter coldness and you question the rationality of getting out of bed let alone the house. This Tough Guy Challenge really is one of the most brutal courses that you will ever have to endure. So do not be fooled by the by the farm like atmosphere that greets you upon your entry. You will be feeding no lambs today.

Instead, after spending over half an hour getting ready and ‘warming up’ in the freezing January air, you will most definitely be ‘cooling down’, and by that I mean in the way of jumping into an icy lake causing your body to lock up with shock coupled with the realisation that ‘this could be it’.  

The icy lakes, ponds and other such watery treats are only a fraction of the luxuries that this 12km course has to offer. As well as these, you will have to battle your way through fire, electricity, submerged tunnels and a whole world of pain. Still think you’re a tough guy? Watch the video and check the guy out at the end. You will see...

Enjoy the cold.

2) Spartan Race

Sparta 480 BC. 300 Spartans defy a Persian Army numbering in their hundreds of thousands. With strength, courage and complete disregard for their bodies they fought till the death…something you are going to have to embrace if you want to come out of this race intact. 

Designed by fitness freaks and marines from both the USA and Great Britain, the Spartan Race is a well known for its brutality and utter ruthlessness which requires only Spartan-like courage to defeat it.

If you think completing just one race is tough then you are in for a shock. In order to become a true Spartan warrior you must complete a series of three races that get progressively get harder and longer…in the same season. Sounds so easy, right?

In order to become a true Spartan you must be able to throw, carry, lift, jump, climb, swim, run, fight…yes fight and many more verbs I don’t care to mention. Oh, and if you fail any of the obstacles then expect to receive some agonizing forfeit. If you come out alive, and actually fancy committing suicide then there is one more final race that is sure to shatter even the most crazy and truly stupid individuals; the Spartan death race. But I doubt you will get past race 3. Time to prove me wrong Spartan wannabe.

1) Tough Mudder

It’s come down to this. The toughest and most vicious obstacle course in the British Isles. Designed by British Special Forces who naturally dislike civilians and their relaxed way of life. Civilians like you who are only willing to put their bodies on the line for four hours on a Saturday afternoon. They have designed this course out of hatred so even if you’re the most able fitness enthusiast you will be made to feel like the high school wimp.

Before the race even starts you will be succumbed to some intense battle cries that will make you think you were some sort of warrior under William Wallace. You better get fired up, your adrenalin is key to your survival.





As soon as you start the course the very name of the event should start to become ever more apparent on the ground. If you thought walking your dog through the woods on a rainy Monday was difficult then you should not go anywhere near this course. Miles of sloppy mud will reduce your speed to a tired heave. You will be begging to hit the water, and there’s plenty of that. However, not the clean kind. The kind that has seen hundreds of torn and grimy participants. Lovely.

The water is the easy bit. Combine that with electricity and you have yourself a lovely little pain maker. So, expect to crawl slowly through electrified wires as the person in front nervously stops and starts due to the smashes of electricity.

However, your anguish is not over. The various challenges that thump at your upper body will make you hungry to continue your never-ending half marathon.

If you have somehow made it to less than half a mile to the finish line then you are still far from finishing. Your body is cramped, torn and bloodied but you must scale Everest to complete (a giant 15 foot wall) the course. Oh, and some more electricity.

As you cross the finish line you will look to the sky and thank god you didn’t die for you have survived the fire, electrocution, near-drowning, 20ft ledge jump, half marathon and the horrendous mud. Don your bright orange ‘Tough Mudder’ head band and wear it everywhere. Show the world how tough you are. For you have just completed the obstacle course from hell. Drink that beer, you earned it.